Healing Broken Places

Recently I finished the book “Breaking Free from Body Shame” by Jess Connolly. I’m sure we’ve all wrestled with body shame at one point or another - for me, college years were the hardest. Now several years out from that time, I’ve seen how God has continued to heal broken places and restore a right view of my body, but I know there are places I can grow! I read this book to dig in a bit deeper and search out how I might be proactive to protect my heart, mind, and body against the lies that I (and today’s culture) tell myself.

If you’re looking for a book of “how-to’s” or “if... then...” statements - then this book is not for you. Instead the book is rich in theology - all about celebrating and living in the body that God has already proclaimed good.

After reading the first part of the book, I felt so inspired by Connolly’s words, I themed one of my yoga classes about the goodness of our bodies. I’m guessing it was a message many people needed to hear, because when I showed up to the studio, the roster was full - the class was the highest attendance I’d had in months.

I started my class out with some questions/silent meditation for my students - “Consider why you are here? Are you here to show love to your body or to make your body more lovable?” (A deep theme Connolly digs into in her book). I then challenged my class to celebrate their bodies during their practice - to see them as already good and be present in them. As Connolly stated in her book concerning healing exercise - “I felt at home in my skin, not because of how it looked, but because I was spending so much time connected to my body.” This is my hope for my students. Afterwards, multiple students thanked me for the class - for the words I shared and questions I’d posed. One student gave me a full on hug, another shared with tears in her eyes that she’d needed to hear those truths, and another student came to me a week later asking for more details about the book’s author/title that I’d referred to during my class .

I’ll be honest, I left the class more grateful than ever. Not because of high class attendance or even because of the positive feedback. Instead, I was thankful that I was used by God to make a difference. He needed to share a message with his image-bearers about their worth, their goodness, and their beauty. I was grateful that got to be the instrument that brought His truth.

The last chapter of this book hit home most for me. It was entitled “Your body is not a trophy.” Connolly dives into the idea that our bodies are not to be used as something to gain approval or worth from others. They do not define our worth. If there’s one thing I know about myself, it's that I am a chronic people pleaser. This works itself out in many ways - wanting to please others with my job performance, relationships, hobbies and habits, home, etc.

My appearance is only one way where I see this desire to please others play out. The root of this “people pleasing” comes from a desire for other’s approval which unfortunately has outweighed my own thoughts about myself, but more importantly God’s thoughts about me. I think I’ve always acknowledged my own unhealthy need to gain others’ approval, but it was not until recently that I’ve wanted to invest in healing this area of this life. In the past I “worked” on this a bit, but I always felt it was a dark spot too big to tackle in this lifetime (knowing that healing this place would probably take an entire lifetime!).

But I’m learning that this messy, invasive desire for approval is an area of my life the Lord sees. He draws near in my mess. He encourages me to “stop the striving” and the “working.” He seeks to love me and heal my past hurts that have shaped my broken habits and relationships. I’m hoping to share more about this journey of healing, but as of now, I’m finding ways to break away, to be alone with Jesus, and rebuild the broken places.

With Love,

Audrey