1) What it means to show up at the crucial moments, even when you live far away from someone. I can think of 3 HUGE moments in my life that Audrey went out of her way to be there:

-On the October weekend I ran the Chicago marathon, she drove 10 hours on Saturday and then 10 hours on the following Monday so she could take buses around Chicago all Sunday morning to various places in order to cheer for me for 5 seconds in each place. She ran the last 6 miles with me when I was losing steam and encouraged me not to give up.

-On the days right before I moved to Europe, Audrey and her husband came to spend a few days in Chicago with me, sacrificing their weekend to spend time with me and my friends.

-Last year when I was really sick with Celiac pre-diagnosis, Audrey and her husband flew across the globe (before COVID vaccines were even available) to visit me and check on me and my health. They were there when I got back my diagnosis and stood with me as I processed what changes I would need to make.

2) How to deescalate an argument. From the time we were children to present day, my sister always has known what to say to make peace in our family and in friendships.

3) How to make a leap of trust. When I was 24 years old, it seemed like all of my closest friends were breaking up with their boyfriends. I was feeling a little disoriented by my own dating disappointments, and Audrey had dated a couple guys who ended up being losers. But then she meet Collin. And she immediately knew he was different. I was skeptical about relationships at the time, but Audrey held out hope and took a leap of trust in falling for Collin. She (and other friends who got married in the coming years) helped me see that love and marriage are possible, and worth the scary leap to get there.

4) How to be the best dog mom. Audrey and her husband have the sweetest golden retriever in the whole world. I'm sure it's partly just their dog's temperament, but also the love & care that they show their pup every day.

5) How to say sorry. When Audrey and I were children, we would get in arguments sometimes and my mom would force us to play in separate rooms, rather than together. This was torturous, partially because it was boringggg to play separately, and partly because during that time we would mull over the unkind words we had said to each other but not have a chance to make things right. Often, we would sneak over to the other person's bedroom and slip a sheet of paper under the door: "I'm so sorry, I love you." I learned how to apologize and seek restoration in a friendship because of these small but significant moments with my sister.

6) How to put on eyeliner. Make-up is not something that came easy to me, but I've gradually figured it out over the years because of friends and YouTube videos. I'm still not brave enough to use liquid eyeliner every day, but I know how to use it because of my sister, and I know my sister will put in on for me whenever I'm ever staying with her.

7) How to DIY. My sister is brilliant at DIY. She made almost all the decorations for her wedding - calligraphy, etc. and they were beautiful! I'm not nearly as skilled in this area, but I know that if I ever need ideas or tips, Audrey is the one to ask.

7) That rollercoasters are actually fun. Once I'm strapped into a rollercoaster and can get past the first drop, I love the thrill of flying through the air. But ever since I was a kid, I felt so much fear and anxiety before a ride that I wouldn't go on them. My sister always loved rollercoasters and over the years she encouraged me to declare "Silenzio Bruno!" and get on new rides.

8) What it looks like to be settled. I might be older than Audrey, but she's a lot more settled in life than I am. She owns a house, car, dog... Up until a few weeks ago, my most valuable possession was a piano keyboard. My sister and her husband contemplate investments and home improvement... I contemplate about how many gluten-free snacks I can fit in two pieces of my luggage.

After spending time with my sister these past couple summers, she's helped me see the value of being a bit more settled, while still embracing a generally minimalist life. I've recently purchased a car and a dishwasher, and these purchases have allowed me to become more invested where I live and work. I'm not just traveling through Albania. I live here and I want to make this place my home.

9) How to be comfortable being silly. I don't know why I was so easily embarrassed as a child, but I was. My sister and mom would be joking and laughing while we were eating at Steak-n-Shake, and I would be hiding my face in my hands. Brittany knows the people she's most comfortable around and those fortunate friends get to see her silly side (with funny accents and mischievous facial expressions). She's comfortable in her own shoes, and I'm less embarrassed about being myself because of her confidence.

10) How to articulate your needs. I think both Audrey and I have been learning this together over the past couple years: It's okay to have needs. You are not too much for having an opinion or taking up space. The difference between Audrey and I, however, is her ability to articulate her needs and thoughts with such grace and yet without apology. She doesn't get as emotionally involved in the process as I do (or she doesn't show it as much, anyways). I so admire her courage and eloquence in speaking up, and it's something I'm striving to do well too.

I got the idea for this post from a book I started listening to by Laura Tremaine called Share your Stuff. I'll go First. I'm just two chapters in, but I already highly recommend it!

With joy,

Annie